An Open Letter to RSVP-er's Everywhere

Please enjoy the following rant while my sanity slowly crumbles.

Source

There are things in life that are difficult.

Sending in your RSVP to a wedding is not one of them.


Dear Wedding Guests:

Hi there!  How are you?  Good, good, I'm glad you're all well.  Any broken arms? Broken legs? Broken mailboxes?  No?

Well, that's good.  I was getting worried there for a second.

I don't know if you remember, but a little over a month ago we sent you an invitation to join our festivities in May. Oh, you got it! Wonderful! Inside that invitation was a card asking if you'd be attending--hopefully you noticed it. All you had to do with said card was write your name, check "yes" or "no", and tell us the number of people coming (or not). You did not have to write in code or learn another language to be able to respond, nor did you have to affix postage as Mr. Goodlaff and I generously footed the 28 cent bill from the United States Postal Service.


What's that you say? They aren't due until the 11th, so why bother sending them in now even though you already know if you'll be attending or not?  DO YOU CARE ABOUT MY SANITY AT ALL? Seriously, I know we gave you a long time to respond, but that doesn't mean you should wait until three days before the deadline to send in your reply.  See, we have things we need to plan for.  One of these things is food. 

Oh, I'm glad that you're looking forward to eating--I agree, it should be quite tasty.  But here's the thing: I can't order enough food for everyone until I know how many people are coming.  How would I know that, you ask?  See that card still in your hand/on your counter/posted to your fridge/in your bill pile?  That's how.  You know what else we can't do without a total number of guests?  Make table numbers, assign seats, make place cards, buy wedding cake(s), order alcoholic beverages, or adequately budget for any of the aforementioned items. 

Please send your RSVP in.

Now.

Love,

Miss Goodlaff

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Can someone please tell me why on God's green earth it is so hard to mail a card?

Now, it's one thing if you are unsure if you can attend.  It may take you until April 9th to decide.  Believe me, I understand that not everyone knows if they can make it to the wedding.  I get it.  But.  But...

A month ago, we sent out 83 cards, and we've gotten 42 back.  Barely half.

Really?

So please, if you are ever invited to a wedding or other event that requires you to respond, do so in a timely fashion, because somewhere out there is a bride or a hostess freaking the hell out not knowing how to prepare. 

Also, if you are or currently know a Goodlaff wedding guest that's on my list (you know who you are...*cough* Sister Goodlaff *cough*), please send in the card.  That's not a list you want to be on. 

Tinkerbell needed people to clap for her so that she could come back to life;  I need you to send me the cards so that my sanity comes back. 

Did you have trouble wrangling your RSVP's?