Painting the Roses Red: Bridezilla Emerges

I spent so much of the wedding planning process trying not to be a Bridezilla, and like to think that I was--on the whole--quite successful. But (you knew there had to be a 'but'), I must admit, in the end, I too tore through Tokyo on a rampage. The cause? Fake lemons. I'm slightly ashamed to admit it, but those damn plastic fruit were my undoing, and I just cracked--CRACKED!

You have seen the fantastic archway that Daddy Goodlaff built, but I haven't shared with you how I wanted to decorate it. So, here it is. The local craft store, aka: the bad place, had this fantastic arch set up, and I loved the way it looked. Overdone? A bit. But on the whole, quite lovely.

The lights, birds, and butterflies were a little too much, but I was totally sold on the concept. Poofy white netting? Love!  Mr Goodlaff and I bought the netting and the week before the wedding, we procured some garland, but it all needed an extra pop of color. 

Enter the lemons. 

Because we were already using lemons in our centerpieces, it seemed fitting to carry them over into the archway design. Now, last Christmas, Mr. Goodlaff found me some decorative lemons, and I was in love with them.  Naturally, loving them so much made me massively unwilling to poke them with wire and put them on the archway, so two days before the wedding, I bought new fake lemons.

They were the wrong color. Seriously.

Sadly, I have no picture, but take my word--they were more watered-down lemonade with a hint of green than they were the bright, rich yellow color I had pictured.  We strung them up on the archway, and I had a mini hissy fit.  "They aren't the right color," I told Mama and Sister Goodlaff.

Mama Goodlaff suggested that the lemons could be painted the right color, which is when Bridezilla, in all her terrifying glory thundered onto the scene:  "I can't even think about painting or gluing anything else.  I'm not painting the lemons--you can paint the lemons, but I'm done with projects.  I don't have time for another project."

At this point Mama and Sister Goodlaff slowly backed away from the bride in mid-breakdown, and offered to paint the lemons the right shade of golden. " How about I take them home and try to paint them the right color?  Would that be okay?  I'm sure with all the paint we have, we'll be able to get it just right," Mama Goodlaff assured me.  She talked to me like I was a six-year old, which, I suppose, is about where I was mentally. 

Mama Goodlaff took the lemons home and ultimately did achieve the perfect color, but while painting my lemons yellow, another diva's demand popped into her head, and it wasn't long before she found herself humming the following song:

"Painting the Roses Red," from Alice in Wonderland

I let improperly-hued fake plastic fruit get the better of me, and though I'm looking back and laughing, then it seemed like the biggest crisis in the world.

I hope that each of you had or has someone to paint your lemons yellow in the days leading up to your wedding, or, if no painters can be found, that someone was or will be around to smack some sense into you!

Have you had a crazy Bridezilla moment?