Sunday, December 5, 2010

Dreaming of Disaster

It's official: I've had my very first wedding-related nightmare. Honestly, I'm surprised it took this long for me to get there--now the flood gates are wide open.

Here's how it happened:
I'm standing in the middle of a Jamaican hotel room, freaking out because I haven't found a makeup artist for my ceremony the next day.  As luck would have it, one of the hotel staff members happened to be in the room, listening to me.  She left the room and came back a few minutes later, telling me she'd found a celebrity makeup artist willing to do my makeup at $8 an hour.  Sold! 

At that point I decided it would be a good time to pull my wedding dress from the closet and steam it to get the wrinkles out, but what I pulled out of the bag was nothing like the wedding dress I'd picked out.  It was an off-the shoulder, pewter-gray dress made of shiny crinkled fabric, with an empire waist.  It had sleeves that someone had cut off any run-of-the-mill white cotton long sleeved t-shirt. 

I put it on and noticed that it had a huge tear in the seam from underneath my right arm to the middle of my chest, and speaking of chest, mine was not showing advantageously in the dress--the top was way too big and no adjustment of the girls made it any better. The zipper wasn't properly functioning, and to add insult to injury, the fabric was completely see through.

I started to cry because the dress looked awful, but then my miracle hotel staff member came back, bringing in my real wedding dress.  I put it on, and it was a lot better, but not perfect--it still didn't fit.  The strapless top was so tight that it was cutting into me and the zipper kept falling down.  She promised me that they could fix it and took the dress away.

Then the dream transitioned: we were on a school bus and I was sitting in my wedding dress.  The bus stopped next to a campground in the middle of the woods (apparently we're not in Jamaica anymore...) and everyone piled out.  I asked Mama Goodlaff what we were doing there, and she told me we hadn't been able to get all the wedding pictures the day before so we were doing another photo session. I told her I didn't remember anything about the wedding--not a single thing.  She told me it was beautiful and then started rehashing some details.  Meanwhile, I was standing there in my dress, hysterically crying because I couldn't remember anything--not the reception, not the decor, not even walking down the aisle to marry Mr. Goodlaff.

I was devastated.

Sobbing, I looked around for Mr. Goodlaff, but I couldn't find him in the vast crowd of family and friends.  My wedding dress still wasn't fitting properly and Daddy Goodlaff told me I "should really get that fixed."  At that point, the zipper fell down again.   So I didn't cause a scene, Mama Goodlaff hauled me off to show me pictures, and prove to me that I really got married.

And that's about where I woke up, hands clenched, face pressed into the pillow. 

There were so many elements in the dream that were awful--stressing over vendors, an ill-fitting wedding dress--but the worst was not being able to remember a single thing about the wedding.  It felt like hours when dream Mama Goodlaff was trying to convince me the wedding had happened, and I couldn't remember anything.  I tried and tried and I recalled nothing--it broke my heart. 

Please don't turn me into your shrinks: I'm sure I'm just worried about forgetting some important wedding details and my upcoming dress-ordering trip (Saturday!).  Still, I'm going to make extra sure to savor every moment of this planning process and our wedding day, because I don't ever want to feel like that again, even in a dream.

I'm hoping for quiet, non-wedding related dreams this evening.

Have you had any wedding-related nightmares?

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