Thursday, March 17, 2011

Unconventionally Useful

Sometimes, we use things for something other than their intended purposes.

If there's one way I'm sure that MS Excel was never meant to be used, I'm sure this is it. Now, I'm going to get a little personal here (talking about monthly Aunt Flo, personal), so if you're squeamish, a boy, my mother, a relative, a soon-to-be relative, or someone who doesn't really know me that well yet, you may want to turn around and look over some older posts.  If not, consider yourself warned and proceed with caution.

There are several things in life that I'm certain of: I will never look good in khakis, I love food too much to ever be as skinny as Sister Goodlaff, and wearing white (on any day) is just inviting trouble. Given that these are some of my fundamental beliefs, can you see how I'd be nervous about wearing a white gown on my wedding day? And the absolute last thing that any woman wants to deal with while wearing her wedding dress is her "monthly gift."

About six months ago, I had a Eureka! moment, and decided to calculate out the range of days where I could expect Aunt Flo to pay a visit, so that if the cycle needed adjusting, I could make the change before the wedding.  I tried circling days on a calendar, but after unintentionally skipping a week and counting days incorrectly, got myself all confused and frustrated, and after a few minutes, I gave up.

Then I remembered Excel's formula functions and got to work. Yes, I made a spreadsheet to calculate out "that time of the month"--I am just that dorky.   Here's what I came up with:

Sorry, you're getting fake dates.  Bad enough I'm breaching all kinds of Internet etiquette here--the least I can do is spare you the actual details. 

Anyhoo, I figured out the length of the cycle, the length of time between when Aunt Flo arrives and departs, and made a snazzy little formula to figure all the dates out. Now I can completely plan around "that time of the month" when it comes to wedding-related activities. 

I am so pathetically awesome, it's not even funny. TMI? 

Please tell me I'm not the only one who was concerned about this?


  1. Ha! I'm glad you shared this--it's def. something I think all of us were/are concerned about! My gyno was actually the one who first brought it up to me. I never even thought about the fact that you can "adjust" your cycle if you need to (given time). :-)

  2. haha thats too funny! i love the concept though. i should do that too because i'd hate to be on mine during our honeymoon!

  3. I figured mine out almost two yeaaars ago when we first booked our wedding date! Luckily, our date fell at the perfect time..BUT here's the thing. I get very emotional when I'm PMSing (don't we all) and that will be the week before the wedding, then Ill have my period the week leading up to my will end the day of my wedding. Cutting it close I know..BUT then I won't have it at all on my two week honeymoon.

    needless to say, it's a good thing you figured it out and a lot of people do think about this (at least they should!)